I didn’t expect our Leadership Academy session last week at UT Martin to feel like a conversation with myself in the mirror—but there I was, listening to Petra Rencher McPherson, senior vice chancellor for finance and administration, talk about “Leading from the Crossroads.” It was like she was telling my story, just with better credentials.

She shared how her path wasn’t a straight line. There were detours, challenges and moments of uncertainty, and somehow, that made her story even more powerful. I couldn’t help but think, “That sounds a lot like my story!”

My career has had plenty of crossroads, too. Some of them were exciting: others were terrifying. I’ve taken leaps that didn’t always make sense at the time, often because I had to. Looking back, those turns taught me some of the most important lessons about leadership—and about myself.

During the session, Petra asked what seemed like a simple question: “What are 3-5 lessons you’ve learned in your career?” Turns out, it was harder than I expected. I sat there for a few minutes, contemplating. 

Here's what I finally wrote down:

Growth never happens in your comfort zone. I used to like staying behind the scenes, just doing good work and hoping someone would notice. Plot twist: they didn’t. Or if they did, they thought I was perfectly happy there, so why bother me? I had to learn to raise my hand, speak up and say yes to things that scared me a little. Every time I did, I discovered a new strength I didn’t know I had.

Kindness is currency. When you’re kind, people want to help you. I’ve seen that over and over, from my days in engineering, customer service and public service. Being kind and respectful always opened doors. People remember how you make them feel, not just what you accomplish. And having a genuine smile goes a long way!

Don't take yourself too seriously. Leadership isn’t about having all the answers—though wouldn’t that be nice? It’s about being self-aware enough to admit when you’re wrong, learn from it and move on, ideally with a little grace and a sense of humor intact. The grace part is still a work in progress for me.

Don’t wait to be discovered. Be seen. I've learned to go to the networking events, volunteer for the projects outside my job description. And when I'm there, I try not to sit with the same people I always sit with or people I already know, though I’ve definitely done that more times than I’d like to admit. Comfort zones are sneaky like that.

Petra closed the session with a Leadership in Music activity— a perfect reminder that leadership starts with reflection, looking at yourself, owning your strengths and weaknesses, and figuring out how to grow. And let’s be real, I may have quietly sang 'Man in the Mirror' to myself during the activity. Leadership is also about commitment!

There’s a quote I love from Uta Hagen: “We must overcome the notion that we must be regular. It robs us of the chance to be extraordinary.” I’ve carried that with me for years, and I even have a poster of it on my office wall. Because honestly, who wants to be regular? Ordinary is overrated.

So that’s my story. A few bumps, lots of laughs and lessons learned the hard way. I hope it reminds you that leadership isn’t about titles or perfection. It’s about showing up. Learning. Helping others along the way.

I may not be perfect—far from it—but I’ve learned to celebrate how far I’ve come and how every detour has shaped who I am today.

And if nothing else, maybe it’s a reminder to take a leap once in a while. Just…maybe wear good shoes. I've taken mine in high heels—not always the smartest choice, but at least I looked good stumbling. The path to extraordinary isn’t always smooth, but at least you’ll have good stories.